Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Why I have been MIA these past few months....

I wanted to further explain to everyone why I have been MIA. Warning, this is long. By the way, welcome to my personal blog…

It all began on Friday, January 4, 2013. I woke up around 12:00 a.m. in major pain. I had been having a little bit of abdominal pain that whole week and had a doctor's appointment scheduled for Monday, January 7, 2013 (it was the soonest they could get me in). I spent hours trying to diagnosis myself the day I made my doctor’s appointment by searching for every symptom I had on Google (typical, I know lol). At first I thought maybe I had a hernia from lifting weights, but hernias don't cause cramping and I was cramping bad. Then I stating thinking it was something horrible like ovarian cancer (I pretty much freaked myself out, thanks Google). Anyhow, the cramping started out light (it felt like I was on my period but I wasn't) and then the cramping intensified but only at night when I was dead asleep. Anyhow, that night I woke cramping so bad that I could hardly make it to the bathroom. Once I made it to the bathroom I just sat on the floor in pain, holding my legs close to my chest hoping the pain would stop, but it didn't. I started sweating really bad but my entire body was cold, my heart started racing, I was light headed, I couldn't hear anything but a loud ringing noise in my ear and I felt like I was going to puke. I felt like my body was shutting down. Somehow I managed to pick myself off the floor, go into the kitchen, grab a bottle of water and sit on the kitchen floor. I downed as much water as I could, it was the only thing I could think to do. Water helped the light headed feeling go away, but the cramps were still there and they were intense. I had lost all my color, I looked like a ghost. I finally made my way into our bedroom, woke up my husband and told him I needed to go to the ER, something was not right.

We got to the ER around 12:30 a.m. that night and I was starting to feel better. I told my husband never mind, I wanted to go home, I didn't want to sit in the hospital for hours and that I thought I would be ok. Josh refused to listen to me and we checked in moments later. We were there until 7 a.m. and neither of us had more than 2 hours of sleep so we were both drained. After 2 ultrasounds, blood work and a pelvic exam we were told I had a large cyst on my ovaries (almost 6 cm). Bad thoughts immediately took over my mind. I started thinking "Will this prevent us from having kids?" "Is the cyst cancerous?” “Will I need surgery?” As we sat there waiting for the doctor to come in and further explain neither of us could say much, we were so drained. Finally the doctor comes in and for what felt like the millionth time asked "Are you pregnant?" and for the millionth time I said "No, not that I know of, I took a home pregnancy test about a week ago and it came up negative". Well, apparently the home pregnancy test was not accurate. The doctor said I was pregnant and had a large cyst on my ovaries. I started tearing up right away thinking the cyst may cause me to miscarry or not have a normal pregnancy. I started asking as many questions as I could. The doctor further explained that cysts are completely normal when pregnant and the reason I am in so much pain is because the cyst is pretty large and it’s pressing against my ovaries. She also explained that it could be getting ready to rupture. If the cyst didn’t rupture she said the swelling would just go down as I got further along in my pregnancy. This completely eased my mind….until she said that my hCG levels were at 135. Based on my last period she said those numbers were pretty low and that I needed to be checked for an Ectopic pregnancy aka tubular pregnancy (for those of you who are not familiar: An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy where the fertilized egg settles and grows outside the inner lining of the uterus (not in the uterus). The uterus is the womb. Most ectopic pregnancies occur in the Fallopian tube - known as a tubular pregnancy - but they can also occur in the cervix (neck of the womb), abdominal cavity and ovary.) The doctor said I wasn't far along enough for them to know if this was an ectopic pregnancy or not and that I was to follow up with my doctor in the next two days for more blood work and another ultrasound. They released me from the hospital with a bunch of paper work and pain meds.

My husband and I didn't know how to feel, what to say, to be excited, to be scared....this is not how we expected to find we were pregnant and this was not our picture perfect moment at all. We got off birth control in October 2012 and got pregnant in December 2012. Never did we expect to get pregnant that fast, we thought for sure it would take months.

Monday, January 7, 2013 I went to my doctor to get a referral to an OB/GYN. That night around 10:00 p.m. the cyst on my ovaries ruptured. I have never been in such awful pain in my life! I sat up in our bed with my knees to my chest for nearly 15 minutes before I felt like I was going to puke. I spent another 20 minutes hanging over the toilet. My husband brought me water, gave me my pain meds and asked if we should go to the ER again but I just didn’t want to sit there for hours to be told the same thing. Eventually I started the bath and sat in a hot bath for about 45 minutes while my husband rubbed my back. The pain gradually ceased. I went back to bed and didn’t sleep much that night. My lower abdomen had cramping for another 2 days but it was nothing compared to the cramping I had experienced when the cyst ruptured. By Friday I was pain free, thank god!

Thursday, January 10, 2013 I saw my OB/GYN. I was nervous, but glad Josh took the day off work to go with me. She said based on my last period I was about 6 weeks pregnant, she did a PAP and I had blood drawn. She scheduled me for another appointment Monday, January 14, 2013 to have more blood work done. They needed to compare my hCG levels to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. Blood work took a few days and the anticipation of my doctor calling with results was killing me. All I could do in the meantime was pray this was a healthy pregnancy. All Josh and I wanted were answers so we could finally be excited about our future.

I received a call back from my doctor on January 16, 2013 and her exact words were “your hCG levels have increased, so the pregnancy is still there, we need to continue to monitor you”. My hCG levels were now in the 1,000’s when they should have been far over that. We scheduled another appointment for Monday, January 21, 2013 so I could talk further to my doctor about what this meant. Friday, January 18, 2013 I started having light bleeding and cramping. The blood was brown so I thought it was maybe just implantation bleeding (I was hoping that’s what it was). By Saturday the bleeding became heavier and the cramping increased. Sunday I felt drained, the bleeding turned into small clots and I was cramping pretty bad. I refused to sit in the ER for 6 hours again when I had a doctor appointment the next day, so I waited until Monday to see my doctor. Monday, January 21, 2012 I went to work in the morning, the cramping in my back and stomach became unbearable and I sat at my desk in tears until it was time for my 11 a.m. doctor appointment. By the time I made it to my doctor the blood clots were huge and I couldn’t even walk without hunching over because I was in so much pain. She did a pelvic examine and confirmed I was having a miscarriage : (. I was so upset and so disappointed. I had to go in hours later for a D&C. The surgery didn’t take too long, they put me under and I was awake an hour or so later. However, it was something I never want to go through again, it was painful on my heart and my mind.

My body healed incredibly fast after the miscarriage. I was back to work a day later and the bleeding stopped the day after my surgery. The doctor told me I needed to allow my body two weeks to heal, no baths, no intercourse, light activity as far as working out, etc. Two weeks later I had a checkup and she said I was healed and everything looked great. She reminded me that God has a reason for everything and not to be sad. It was hard, the whole thing was hard emotionally and physically.

Two weeks later my husband took me on a surprise trip to Napa for my birthday. We needed this trip after everything we had just gone through. It was one of the best trips we have ever had, so much fun! Two weeks after returning home we found we were pregnant!! I made an appointment with my doctor right away. She could hardly believe it was true. We started blood work and this time my hCG levels were already around 60,000 and two days later they had more than doubled! Now here we are 12 weeks pregnant and baby is doing sooo good! We had an ultrasound done and saw the little heart fluttering like crazy and yesterday we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! Such a bittersweet moment! Doctor says everything looks great, this made me so happy!

Anyhow, I just wanted to let you all know what’s been going on with me and I also wanted to introduce you guys to personal blog that I will be using during this pregnancy. I’ll be back with more pregnancy updates soon!

Stephani – Fit Life Happy Wife


  1. Thanks so much for sharing this ! I am sorry for your loss but I am so happy your pregnant again :)!! I sent you a message on FB yesterday that my husband and I will begin trying next month! I love following you are so awesome and I am super happy you decided to blog your pregnancy!

  2. Omg, you are amazing. This made me cry. I'm so glad you are okay! Thank the Lord! And yes your doctor was right, God always has a plan for everything. <3

    God bless your family!

  3. This made me cry sad and happy tears for you. I have never personally experienced a miscarriage or having cysts and honestly can't imagine what you went thru but I am so glad things turned around for you. I pray you have a good pregnancy and a healthy baby. God Bless you and your husband and your growing baby.

  4. Thank you for sharing that with us! That is one of the most painful (physically & emotionally) a woman and man can go through. I too had a miscarriage exactly one year to the day before I found out I was pregnant with my son and that was almost 10yrs ago. Since then I have had two miscarriages and one ectopic. We talked to the doctor to try to find out why this was transpiring and apparently it has something to do with my progesterone levels. SO we were blessed with one healthy ornery little boy and I am so happy for that :) Best wishes to you and Josh with your journey into parenthood, it is the most amazing thing in the world!

  5. Congrats!! I'm so happy for you and your husband. I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant so I'm really looking forward to following your journey. I can't wait to see how you adjust your workouts to accommodate your pregnancy. I'll be praying for a healthy and happy pregnancy.

  6. Congratulations. Your story is very encouraging and thank you for sharing your personal life with us. It seriously gives hope to those who are having difficulty with getting pregnant or have had complications.

  7. Your blog brought tears to my eyes as a mother of 2 college age and 1 high school. There is nothing like a love you feel looking into your children's eyes. Best of luck to you! You also sound like you have a very caring and intuitive physician. She gave you such sincere and caring words upon your miscarriage. To think i was looking for a egg white muffin recipe :).