Mother's Day 2010-The first Mother's Day I did nothing for my Mom. I called, but that was it. A call and nothing more. I got her a card a week before Mother's Day and as always, I had the hardest time finding a card. It's hard to find words to describe how i feel about the Mom she is and especially the Mom she is today. The card is still sitting at home. Mother's day has come and gone and that card still remains in the same spot i placed it in after i bought it. I called her on Mother's Day as Josh and I were heading to the swap meet to pick up a gift for her. I planned on getting her a gift and possibly taking her to breakfast/lunch until she told me she had to work pretty much the whole day. Just like every year on Mother's Day, she had to work. So i told her i would call her after we were done at the swap meet and that we would probably stop by to at least drop off her card and gift. But i lied. We got her a gift, i picked out a nice purse for her that i knew she would love and then driving home i convinced myself that I was not going to go out of my way for her this year as i always do! Why should I after all she's done? Why should I when she volunteers to work on Mother's Day every year! Josh and I went home and i never called her. I've spoken to my Mom once since that day. I'm still a little angry i guess you can say......I promised myself i would forgive her for all she's done because the bible says we need to forgive in order to let go of the pain one had caused us but it's hard to forgive when the other person keeps letting you down. I don't know who or what to blame for who my Mom is today and as much as i would like to blame the drugs, i don't. She has a mind of her own and could have very well walked away a long time ago when she saw how much damage doing drugs did to not only her but her family as well.
Mother's Day 2010-I'm pretty sure it hurts me more to know for once i did nothing for her then it hurts her that she didn't have her kids there to celebrate being a Mother. She only cares about herself, one day I will completely understand that and stop worrying and caring as much as i do.